Rules That Make Naughty Children To Disciplined
Follow These Rules For Better Way To Take Care of Naughty Kids:
Raising children always are very challenging. Some children are very naughty and disobedient all the time, while other children are only naughty on occasion. Keep in mind when dealing with a naughty child that it is the behavior that is bothering you rather than the child.
Shouting or ignoring naughty children may make their behaviour worse, researchers claim.
Severe punishments also have adverse effects, according to a report by the London School of Economics.
The study of 19,000 children found that ‘reasoning’ with them had the best outcome.
Here are some tips to deal with bad behaviour:
Stay calm: When your child is misbehaving try not to shout or lose your temper. Yes it is very difficult to stay calm but understand that you are also emulating the same kind of behaviour that of your child. Your child is looking for reactions so don’t give them one.
Create a routine:
Try to make a home time-table about having bath, getting up in the morning, and dinner timings.
Bad behaviour will not wipe out one fine day. It needs constant care and work from the parents side.Tell Them to Read about good people and show them how they did well in life with their good behaviour. Motivating them is the key to changing their behaviour pattern.
Follow This Step:
Draft a set of rules: We parents need to make some rules about what we want from our children should do.These includes brushing their teeth, washing hand before eat, clean their face combing hair, making bed ,putting their toys safe ,respect elder person , not fight with others etc.This rules varied according to child age and gender. younger children rules are very simple, but older child need complex rules and rules are always flexible according to time.This set of rules should be written with consideration of your child’s age. Younger children will need simple, straightforward rules, while for older children need complex rules, that may be flexible depending on the situation. We have to discuss with children gently about the rules so that they know what we expect from them.
Attach immediate consequences to each rule: Not only do you need to have a clear set of rules that your child can understand and follow, you should also make clear what will happen when one of the rules is broken. If a higher priority rule is broken (e.g. if your child hits you), then the consequence should be more severe than if the child breaks a less high priority rule (e.g. doesn’t make up the bed in the morning).
You should never use physical violence as a means of punishing your child. Not only does hitting or spanking your child damage your relationship with your child, it shows them that they can get smaller, weaker people to give them what they want by hitting them.
Make sure to discuss each rule together with the consequence that will occur if they break the rule. This way, they understand what to expect.
Give them things to do: Children who are bored will find ways to entertain themselves. While it is not necessarily a bad thing for children to use their own imaginations when it comes to entertaining themselves, it can also cause them to act out and behave in ways they know they shouldn’t
For example, if your child will be home all day long, try to schedule different activities. Let them color with a coloring book and crayons for an hour while you do what you need to do. Spend some time playing together with them, ask them to help you make lunch, or do some finger painting outside together. It’s good to give them some time to play by themselves, but it is also important to spend time playing together and nurturing your relationship.
Have a schedule: In addition to giving your child plenty of tasks, you should have a routine that you stick to each day, especially if your child is not yet of school age. This will help them understand what to expect and when to expect it, reducing the likelihood of boredom or frustration.
For example, have them take their nap at the same time each day. Make sure to be consistent, too. Have them take their bath each day at the same time. For example, before bed, which will also signal to them that it’s time to wind down.
Consider the age of the child: Obviously, as the child grows, you will have to re-think the rules and the consequences attached to them. Therefore, it is important to remember that younger children won’t be able to process complex rules with contingencies, while older children can be given a bit more control and independence.
Children between 0 and 2 will not be able to understand a set of rules. Instead, if there are certain things in the home you want them to avoid, it is best to keep those things up and out of reach of the children. If they get into something you want them to stay away from, gently but firmly tell them, “No,” and distract them with another activity. You can use timeouts of a few minutes to help them associate certain actions (such as biting or hitting) with a negative consequence. Timeouts of longer than a few minutes will not be effective for children at this young age.
Children between the ages of 3 and 5 will be able to understand connections between what they are doing and the consequence that follows. If the child misbehaves, be sure to explain to them why they should not do what they did before you give them the consequence. Explain what they did wrong, and explain what will happen if they do it again. The next time it happens, remind them of what you told them, and apply the consequence.
From ages 6 until 8, timeouts are a good way of enacting discipline. Make a designated timeout spot that will be free from any distractions (such as TV, computer, etc.) so that the child will need to think about what they did. Again, remember not to take it to the extreme. A timeout of 6 to 8 minutes should be sufficient. If the child is throwing a tantrum, tell them they will remain in the timeout until they are able to calm themselves.
Beginning at the age of 9 up until 12, you can begin to use natural punishments, in addition to enacted discipline, such as grounding them for a week if they break a rule. For example, if your child failed to do his homework for bed, you should let him learn what happens when he returns to school without doing his homework before intervening. Beginning at this age, children should begin to learn for themselves what happens when they don’t do what is asked of them.
If your child is a teenager, you will need to re-establish the rules so that they can exercise their own control and independence, within reason. If a rule is broken, there should still be consequences, but as before, it is important to explain to them why they should stick to the rules. For example, if they come home past curfew without calling, explain why that is very worrisome for you.
If the child younger than four reacts violently to you, either by hitting, kicking, scratching, or biting you, you should immediately put them in a time out. Tell them very clearly, that such behavior will absolutely not be tolerated.
Once the child has calmed down, and you are able to talk with them, listen to what they have to say, and tell them that throwing a tantrum is not the best way to deal with their problem. However, don’t fixate on this point. Explain a better way to deal with it, and move on.
Remind them of the rules: If the child is over four, and they are throwing a tantrum, gently remind them of the rules. Explain to them that they have two options: they can either choose to stop the behavior, and do something that is within the rules, and that they would like to do, or they can continue with their behavior, and not have enough time to do something they would enjoy.
Once they have calmed down, discuss better ways that they can express their feelings in the future. Ask them to make suggestions about how they think they could have reacted better.
Dealing with Bad Behavior:
Tell your child what you would like them to do. If your child is behaving badly or has done something you don’t want them to do, don’t simply say, “Stop that!” Instead, tell them what you would like them to do, and what the reward will be for engaging in this different behavior.
For example, if they have yelled at their younger sibling, say, “Remember that we have a rule about yelling. If you’re feeling upset by your sister, I would like to see you walk away from her instead of yelling. When I see you do this, I will take you to see that movie you’ve been asking to see.”
You can also give the child a chance to tell you what is going on in their minds. For example, you could say, “What is your sister doing that is making you feel like you want to yell at her?” This will give them a chance to feel understood instead of just redirecting their behavior without acknowledging that they are upset.
Remind them of the rules: If your child is doing something that is against the rules, remind them of that rule, and the consequence for breaking it. Explain to them that if they continue with the rule-breaking behavior, that you will be forced to enact the consequence.
At this point, you can give them a choice. Explain to them that they can either stop the behavior, not receive the consequence of that behavior, and do something else, or they can continue with the behavior and deal with consequence of that behavior.
Follow through: Sometimes enforcing the consequences of rule-breaking can be a hassle. However, if the child has broken a rule it is important that you follow through with what you said, and that you do so in a timely manner. If you don’t, the child may learn that you don’t stick to the rules yourself, so why should they?
If for some reason, you can’t immediately enact the consequence, explain to the child that you will still follow through, but that it will have to be at a later time. Explain the reason for the delay so that they understand that they aren’t getting away with their bad behavior.
Be consistent: This can be very frustrating, especially because it may mean dealing with the same behavior several times before it stops, but it is important that your child understand that there will be consequences every time a rule is broken. Make sure to follow through by explaining what the rule is, how the child broke it, and what the consequence now is.
For example, if the child hits another child, immediately place them in time out where they will not be able to play for 5 minutes. If the behavior is repeated, repeat the consequence. Do this as often as necessary so that your child understands that bad behavior always has a consequence.
Reinforcing Good Behavior:
Ask the child to help come up with rewards for their good behavior. You can sit down with them, and write down several different things they’d like to do, meals they’d like to eat, and places they’d like to visit. Have them tell you which things they really, really would like, and rank them from highest priority to lowest priority.
When your child does something really great, you can reward them with their top reward. For example, if their teacher reports that they have behaved very well all month at school, you could take them to the zoo, if that was the thing they most wanted. You can use the other rewards to reward them for other good behavior, such as making up the bed each day for a week without being asked.
Praise them verbally: If you notice your child behaving particularly well, tell them so. Thank them for behaving so nicely, and give them a hug. Reward them with something from the list, too.
If you never reward them for their good behavior unless they remind you of your agreements, it may demonstrate to them that you aren’t really paying any attention.
Spend time with them: Most children really enjoy doing things with parents and caregivers. If your child is behaving well, show them that you appreciate it by doing things together with them. Allow them to take more responsibility with tasks. This will show them that you notice their good behavior, and are rewarding it.
For example, if your child is behaving very well, ask them to come plant some flowers in the garden with you. Then, let them take charge (within reason). Let them choose where to plant the flowers, let them place the seeds into the hole, and cover it up.
Don’t be too hard on yourself. Raising children can be one of the most challenging things one can do. You may sometimes feel that you have failed as a caregiver because your child is behaving badly, but remember that children misbehave to test out different boundaries in order to see what happens. Give yourself a break, and remember that you will all get through it together.
If you feel that you are about to lose your temper in a situation involving a child, walk away and give yourself a bit of time to cool down. You may lose control of yourself and say something you don’t mean, or worse. If you are worried about doing something, ask a trusted friend to come over for a little while to watch the child so you can cool off a bit.
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