Settling down, making plans and creating something valuable for myself

Hello everyone!

I think I settled down pretty good at my new job. So far all is well but I noticed that when I get home I do more and more unproductive things. I have started to watch a lot of YT, browse 9gag and overall I do nothing. Yes, I just waste my time doing nothing. I have a feeling I would rather play games but I don't really feel up to the task after work. Odd, right?

So, naturally, I started to question my behavior and I've read few articles related to that subject. Apparently, after doing some research, I found that some people say it's normal. It really makes me think and question some of my thoughts I'll share those with you.


Is it possible that some of us are being held back by ourselves? Can it be that we have a mechanism which holds us down? Can your subconsciousness be bad for you? Can it be influenced, turned off or changed to be more cooperative?

Well, as far as I could understand from my research, the answer to all of those questions I've asked above is: yes, it can be done.

So, how to fight that? How can it be changed? Well, to be honest with you I don't know. I have few ideas and I plan to test all of them. I'll see what works for me and I promise to share all of them with you here. If it works for me, then it might work for you. And then I'll be able to help someone other than myself and that is a big thing.

My personal solution

My first idea was to create a contract in hopes to help me overcome my fears, doubts and all that crap that makes me want to do nothing. With time I intend to get into a habit of doing small things, create my daily rituals lasting from 15 minutes up to an hour where I'll do what I like and create some value for myself, grow, learn and improve.

The main idea behind the contract and purpose of it is to hold me accountable to someone. I hope it will push me to the limit, motivate me and make me go forward as there are penalties for not doing anything. I want to create a habit of doing things and do them now. There needs to be some consequences if I fail and choose not to do anything. I don't want to get into my overthinking routine. I want to avoid useless planning, overthinking, daydreaming and scenario playing which sometimes takes away my time.

On the other hand, I would like it to be fun, casual and not over the top stressful. We'll see how it goes. Like I said, I have no clue what I'm doing but I've decided to start doing something and move forward. I want to change and this is my 1st step and my 1st post towards that goal.

Note: All sketches, drawings and photos are my own creation.

Keep doing what you like and have fun!

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illustrator, artist, poet, writer, free spirit, gamer, dungeon master

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