Being a server in a strip club was not the life long dream of Natasha, but there was nothing she could do than to suck it up. She always hated it when men the age of her father leered at her suggestively, men old enough to be her grandfather tried to slip their filthy hands up her thighs. It made her sick to the stomach but there was nothing she could do, because the bills didn't pay themselves. The pay was better than that of a cafe. Even though the scene always repulsed her, she had gotten used to it.
Photo from Mydivathings
She had trained herself to tune it all out. As much as she wanted to forget her past along with all those in it, especially her mother, she couldn't let go of all the things her mother used to tell her, all those things were her principles that had guided her all these years.
Opening the door to the apartment she shared with Mandy, who was kind of a friend to her, she hanged her coat and placed her keys in the bowl. She walked straight to the fridge and took out the items she needed to make a sandwich, she was too tired to make a proper meal.
Armed with a plate of sandwich and a glass of milk, she sat on the couch and started munching her meal. She took her phone out of her purse to read her missed texts and listen to her voicemail. There was a text from Mandy saying she would be staying with her boyfriend for the weekend. There was a voicemail from Sandy asking if she could do her shift for her because she had an emergency. She had to take care of a sick relative.
There was another voicemail from a number she didn't know, but she listened anyway and immediately regretted it. She'd recognize that voice anywhere, whether she was in a deep slunber or in a coma she'd know the owner of that voice, Alisa her mother.
"Um...hi...err...I know you'll be wondering how I got your contact but...that's not important...I just wanted to know how you're doing and...yea that's it. I know you owe me nothing but i was wondering if we could ...you know meet. I've missed you a lot. Please call me. I love you".
By the time she was done listening, she was shaking with anger so much so that she spilled her milk. She didn't care, she was just so angry, so so angry. She had the guts to call me and say all those stupid things, Natasha thought angrily. I love you? She loved her? She loved her? Did she even know what love was? Did she think watching your daughter get beaten by a monster of a husband was love? Watching your daughter, your own flesh and blood being raped was love? She thought angrily.
She knew she hated her mother, but after listening to the voicemail she loathed her so much that she started crying. They were tears of anger, of hate, sad tears. She angrily wiped the tears and started murmuring words to herself to assure herself. " I don't care one bit about her. I don't care how she is. I'm fine, I don't need her. Didn't need her then, don't need her now".
She had lost appetite, so she wrapped the rest of the sandwich and put it into the fridge. She couldn't afford to waste anything now. She drank the rest of the milk, washed the glass, dried her hands and marched to her room deciding to forget about the voicemail, her mother and everything else.