History of the United States

by David Hyatt

J. Walter Thompson, a huge ad agency, has a test for all wannabe copywriters. They print it every few years as a full page ad in many major newspapers. They call the campaign "Write if you want work."

My response to the question, "Write the history of the United States in 100 words or less":

Creation. Evolution. Civilization. Exploration. Colonization. Taxation. Representation? Declaration. Revolution. Celebration. Constitutionalization. Election. Inauguration. Succession. Institutionalization. Conflagration. Migration. Plantation. Expansion. Destination Manifestation. Annexation. Secession. Rebellion. Abolition. Emancipation Proclamation. Assassination. Reconstruction. Industrialization. Assassination. Invention. Transportation. Urbanization. Exploitation. Stratification. Assassination. Unionization. Protection. Regulation. Suffrage Extension. Balkanization. Destruction. League of Nations. Prohibition. Immigration. Depression. Socialization. Construction. Isolation. Deterioration. Penetration. Fission-n-Fusion. Annihilation. Radiation. Polarization. Militarization. Partition. Persecution. Automation. Failed Invasion. Assassination. Investigation. Division. Demonstration. Mind Alteration. Space Exploration. Bra Incineration. Obfuscation. Resignation. Elation. Stupification. Abortion. Stagflation. Gas Station. Computerization. Communication. Deregulation. Pollution. Deforestation. Kinder, Gentler Nation. Reunification. Reconciliation. Verification. Recession. Demarcation. Obliteration. Glorification. Education?